hell yes lets make some ravioli
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
