I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she told me i tasted like america
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize