Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
