We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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