My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
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Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize