I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
pray to the hookup gods
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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