she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
