Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
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So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
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That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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