Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
two words: eviction party
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
