Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
