Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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