I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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