That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
