I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
