Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize