And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
