I hate your face
I want to walk on stilts...naked
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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