What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
BRING THE BAGELS
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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