Kiss
Puke
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
