At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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