but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
