Pappa wants mamma naked
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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