Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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