why didn't you poke me back
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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