We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
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while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
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Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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