Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
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he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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