hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
