quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
