i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
