great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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