If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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