A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
