doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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