remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
