and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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