Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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