'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
