i don't plan on having that self control this summer
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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