I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
