I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
