"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
