areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just had sex on a roof
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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