Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
