If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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