I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
