Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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