I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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