I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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