I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
