Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize