i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
