I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
