You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
