Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
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