and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
im holly from the hills drunk
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
