I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
jump out the window naked night went bad
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