all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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