Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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