Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
