if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
