I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
