I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
