I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
