No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
