so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
